Dear Mom,



Memorial Day came and left and although I do feel like I turned a corner inside, I still think about you every day. The crying is a little less each day. I'm trying to focus on the good times and the special things we shared. I loved it when you called me your rabbit, and I loved our walks on the beach. I found the heart rock you found on the beach in Malibu and I've been collecting them with Roman ever since. I loved our lunches and taking you all around the city with me. Charlie reminded me of how beautiful you were at my fashion show and I was so proud to have you there. I remember getting ready with you that night. It was so exciting for me and to have you by my side meant everything to me. Everyone focuses on what they did not get or what they did not have and the truth is that we had a big family and so much going on all the time. I want to remember the good stuff, you and me and what we had together - that's the stuff that counts. Mom, you gave birth to me, you fed me and changed my diapers and played little games with me. You took me to the beach and you took me to buy my very own first Barbie and carrying case at Merry Go Round. You practically carried me to the hospital when I needed you and you saved my life. You made it easy to talk to you when I thought it would be hard. You were the keeper of all of my joys and sorrows and you never judged me, you always loved me unconditionally. Mom you were there, standing with me at my fashion show with the photgraphers snapping away. When they asked me about my MUSE... my answer was my mom was my muse and she was always the most beautiful woman I ever met. When I was little you looked like a movie star to me and I prayed to be lucky enough to look like you when I grew up. When you were mad, you were downright mad, but when you were kind, which was most of the time, you were my angel. I do wish I spent less time being angry with you for what you did not do, and more time getting to know you better. Maybe it wasn't possible for us. What we had was what was meant to be. I will always cherish spending your last birthday with you, dressing you for Kristi's wedding and laughing with you, and holding you. I tried my best to be there for you mom, and I hope you knew you could count on me. You were there at my shower and my wedding and you came after the birth of our son. Mom, I had you in blips, but they were beautiful to me, and I'm holding onto them. I miss you...